abyssale | 𝖘𝖆𝖑𝖙𝖇𝖚𝖗𝖓𝖙 𝖎𝖓𝖇𝖔𝖝.

[ dani frowns. ]

You don't know that. Especially if you'd been hiding it, not using it. You don't know what it might have done or how...many you could have controlled at once.

You might have fought and they would have killed you too. Lexi, their deaths were not your fault.

[ thirty years, it's been. he doesn't talk about them. he doesn't talk about that power, either, he probably wouldn't have even told dani if he hadn't used it on him.

which makes it all the more notable that he used it on him. ]

( he shakes his head. ) No. I don't know that.

But the power is a sign. It's a sign of the Draven strength. That's why they killed us. They thought our line was weakening. How could we rule if we were not better than the rest of the vampires?

My power would have shown them our line wasn't weak. It would have restored confidence. They would have accepted me as king. ( there's tension in his voice as he talks. )

[ dani shakes his head. ]

No. It would have been a threat to them. They saw an opportunity and they took it. Why bow to you when they could sit the throne themselves?

[ he reaches to take lexi's hand again. he can hear the tension, the upset in his voice. it's lacking his usual confidence and lustre, it's fearful and it's real. and it's full of grief. ]

You did what you had to do. You survived.

What was it that you said to me, about survivor's guilt?

( he covers Dani's hand and shakes his head. ) No. You don't understand us. Or the palace. My line has ruled for thousands of years because we were power. We were strength.

They wouldn't have moved on us if they knew Sanguis' blood was still strong on us. Larisa made me to be their last resort. ( he chokes slightly saying those words out loud. ) She made me to save them.

And I betrayed her. Something inside me told me to hide it, and I listened to that unknown over her.

She's dead because of me. ( he still can't look at Dani, but Dani will see red start to run down his cheeks. )

[ he understands vampires, dani thinks. not the lineaged ones, maybe, but they're all still vampires in the end. they all look for power and advantage, they all want to assert--

the thought dies long before it finds its way to its mouth. it just, gods, it just doesn't matter.

he shifts, and he puts his arms around lexi. he pulls in tight to him, and presses his forehead against his temple. after a moment, he tilts his head to kiss his cheek, to kiss some of those blood tears away. ]

Lexi. My love. [ he speaks softly, only wanting to soothe. ] I'm so sorry. I'm so, so very sorry.

( Dani's warmth is...

it's enveloping.

Lexi gasps as he melts into that warmth. as his fists bunch into his shirt. as his sobs break through him and the tears flow more than they ever have.

it's been thirty years and he's never cried over this. not once.

he just allows himself to get lost in Dani in the moonlight. )

[ dani gathers him. he pulls him close, draws lexi down into the crook of his shoulder. his hands are gentle, smoothing back his hair.

he doesn't try to stop him, doesn't try to calm him. he doesn't think that's what's needed. he thinks these are tears that need to flow. they come from pain, and some pain deserves to be felt. he lost his whole family, his home, his inheritance. and he's dealt with it alone, for decades, without anyone to lean on at all.

well, he can lean on dani.

he leans his cheek on lexi's head, and murmurs softly against his ear. ]

It's alright. I'm here, I have you. It's alright, I promise.

[ he's unaware of it, but as they sit there, his skin grows all the warmer, as though he's sitting still in the noonday sun. the light inside him doesn't rise, but its warmth does, and filters through him to the vampire in his arms. ]

( it's a long moment before Lexi regains his composure. he's breathing in deeply, trying to still himself with the air around him. it's so... warm. it's full of Dani.

Dani's warm, too. so warm...

finally, he levels out. the numb settles in over him in a shuddering gasp and he goes limp in Dani's arms. ) I'm sorry. I... I don't do that. I'm sorry.

[ dani just holds him through it, even after he goes still, and it seems the tears have stopped.

he strokes the tears away with warm fingers, but the bloodstains remain. he reaches for the edge of the blanket to help wipe them properly away, and then he just relaxes, his hands stroking lexi's arms. ]

Don't say that. You can do that with me.

[ he moves to kiss the top of his head, then brings up his hand to kiss that too. ]

It's alright. You're not alone anymore.

( Lexi can't look at Dani.

he can't... fathom the things he says. he's been alone for two hundred years. he loved Larisa and Vasil and the rest of his family. but he's always been... distant. careful. something in him always keeping him apart.

he doesn't know how to... do this.

but he doesn't pull away, in the end. ) When you're out here... do you ever feel like the moon is mocking you?

[ dani still leans with him, holding him and touching him. but his head tilts up, now.

the last vestiges of sunset have filtered away. the starts are beginning to appear, and the moon is gaining in her brightness. artemis, gazing down at him.

except that he doesn't really see artemis. he sees nocturna. and he knows that's wrong, because nocturna is not the moon of this world, but...

but still, it's her he sees. ]

Not exactly mocking. It makes me sad, though, and I don't really know why. I don't feel like that with the sun.

You feel she's mocking you?

Yes. ( he says softly, looking up at the moon now. ) I don't feel like the moon as any love for me.

[ dani looks down at him, then gently touches his chin. he holds his eyes, dark eyes still touched with red. ]

She's a fool, then. She must not be looking right.

( Lexi allows his gaze to be dragged to Dani. )

Why do you insist on caring for me? I'm the epitome of everything that's harmed you in our world.

[ he frowns.

it's a question he's asked himself so many times. he's not sure that he understands the answer, even now.

but he knows how he feels, so that's what he says. ]

I tried not to. But I can't help it, Lexi. I hate vampires. But you...

It's all different with you. You're all I think about. Maybe that makes me a fool, too, but if I am, then I'm your fool.

( that's... there's no logic to it.

maybe that's the point. he's heard people say it over the centuries. love doesn't always follow logic. )

I love you, you fool. ( Lexi murmurs as he leans in to kiss Dani. )

[ there is no logic.

there's no sense to that word, either. dani couldn't explain what love is if he tried. some of his books talk about it. he's heard people say it before, too, but it never seemed real to him. not even once.

until now.

he returns that kiss, pressing into it and sliding his fingers back into lexi's hair again. when their lips break, his eyes stay closed for a moment, then slowly open. ]

I love you, Lexi. That says it better.

( Lexi nods his head. ) I know you do, Dani.

[ he leans his head on lexi's again, smiles, and wraps the blanket a little tighter around them.

the stars are out now, and the moon is much brighter. ]

I'm going to take care of you.

[ he's looking at the moon when he says it, but he's still, very softly, talking to lexi. ]

( Lexi leans in against Dani in that blanket. he looks up to the sky with him and sits on that. )

You can't.

[ his hands are gentle, and still warm, but his arms are solid and keep lexi against him. ]

You think not. I will, though. I'm not asking permission.

( well... shit. he doesn't know how to counter that in his moment.

so he'll let Dani live with the delusion for now.

he looks out at the lake. ) She is pretty. ( he says of the moon and her reflection. )

[ Dani smiles. ]

She's beautiful.

I wish she could hear us. [ Nocturna. ] I wish she could see how much we missed her.

Would she forgive us? ( Lexi frowns. ) Maybe it's best she doesn't hear us.

[ a minor little shake of dani's head. ]

No. We don't deserve it. If our world was her vengeance, she deserves to have it, and we deserve our suffering.

Humans, vampires, wolves. All of us.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject